寫作多樣化

別一直 《我、我、我》  或是   《然後、然後、然後》

讀書最怕讀到無聊的書,無聊又千篇一律的文章,看了兩分鐘讀者可能就去見周公了,寫作也是!有些學生很愛寫,但是不斷重複使用同一個單字或是相同的表述方法,一點新意也沒有,自然無法得高分;或是寫了滿滿一篇流水帳,一點重點也沒有,這樣不但得不到高分,反而會讓閱卷老師飛奔去找周公下棋。

我們來看看以下兩篇短文:

短文一

It was a sunny day yesterday. I woke up, brushed my teeth, and washed my face. Then I got changed and had my breakfast. Then I walked to school and started my classes. I finished my school at 3 pm, then I went to my friend’s house and played computer games with my friend. I also watched TV with my friend. Then I went home and had dinner with my mom and dad. Then I had a shower and went to bed.

短文二

Yesterday was a sunny day. As usual, I woke up bright and early, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and brushed my hair. With a cheerful smile, I eagerly donned my favourite black hoody and patch-work jeans. Looking forward to my gym and science classes, I skipped off to school full of excitement and anticipation. As soon as school had concluded, I hustled over to my friend’s place to dive into our preferred computer game and watch a little TV. Following this, I jogged home for a delightful, hot chicken-curry dinner. After I had wolfed down this tasty repast, I collapsed, exhausted on my bunkbed. What an exhilarating day!

這兩篇短文是在描寫一個五年級學童某一天的生活作息。短文一非常的通俗直白,是常見的五年級生作文,作者使用了大量的“then”與“I”來做句子的開頭,沒有使用描述性的詞彙(descriptive words)或是可以加強讀者印象的動詞(strong verb) 。作者很努力的讓讀者知道他的一天是怎麼過的,相當寫實,但也相當無聊,是相當常見的流水帳寫作法,評分C-。

短文二是出自於接受過寫作訓練的學童手筆,和短文一一樣的淺顯易懂,但是使用了大量的寫作技巧,像是多樣化的句型開頭法,具描述性的動詞、名詞、副詞和形容詞,使整篇文章有聲有色、有影有像,完全帶領讀者走入了學童的一天中,親身體會了作者興高采烈的心境。最值得讚許的是,作者使用了恰當的開頭與適當的結尾,讓平凡的某一天變得格外不平凡!不僅落落大方、不落俗套,更讓文章可以有始有終,是該類日記體文章中的上上之選,評分A+。

今天就讓Mr. Harms帶你的孩子從寫作短文開始進入一個新的寫作領域!

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