写作多样化

别一直 《我、我、我》 或是 《然后、然后、然后》

读书最怕读到无聊的书,无聊又千篇一律的文章,看了两分钟读者可能就去见周公了,写作也是!有些学生很爱写,但是不断重复使用同一个单字或是相同的表述方法,一点新意也没有,自然无法得高分;或是写了满满一篇流水帐,一点重点也没有,这样不但得不到高分,反而会让阅卷老师飞奔去找周公下棋。

我们来看看以下两篇短文:

短文一

It was a sunny day yesterday. I woke up, brushed my teeth, and washed my face. Then I got changed and had my breakfast. Then I walked to school and started my classes. I finished my school at 3 pm, then I went to my friend’s house and played computer games with my friend. I also watched TV with my friend. Then I went home and had dinner with my mom and dad. Then I had a shower and went to bed.

短文二

Yesterday was a sunny day. As usual, I woke up bright and early, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and brushed my hair. With a cheerful smile, I eagerly donned my favourite black hoody and patch-work jeans. Looking forward to my gym and science classes, I skipped off to school full of excitement and anticipation. As soon as school had concluded, I hustled over to my friend’s place to dive into our preferred computer game and watch a little TV. Following this, I jogged home for a delightful, hot chicken-curry dinner. After I had wolfed down this tasty repast, I collapsed, exhausted on my bunkbed. What an exhilarating day!

这两篇短文是在描写一个五年级学童某一天的生活作息。短文一非常的通俗直白,是常见的五年级生作文,作者使用了大量的“then”与“I”来做句子的开头,没有使用描述性的词汇(descriptive words)或是可以加强读者印象的动词(strong verb) 。作者很努力的让读者知道他的一天是怎么过的,相当写实,但也相当无聊,是相当常见的流水帐写作法,评分C-。

短文二是出自于接受过写作训练的学童手笔,和短文一一样的浅显易懂,但是使用了大量的写作技巧,像是多样化的句型开头法,具描述性的动词、名词、副词和形容词,使整篇文章有声有色、有影有像,完全带领读者走入了学童的一天中,亲身体会了作者兴高采烈的心境。最值得赞许的是,作者使用了恰当的开头与适当的结尾,让平凡的某一天变得格外不平凡!不仅落落大方、不落俗套,更让文章可以有始有终,是该类日记体文章中的上上之选,评分A+。

今天就让Mr. Harms带你的孩子从写作短文开始,进入一个新的写作领域!

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